The Intellectual Introvert's Dilemma, Part 2

In the previous post I wrote about what could be a difficult aspect of salvation for an introvert, especially for someone driven by their own understanding and accomplishments. But salvation isn’t the entire story; it’s only the very beginning of what will most likely be a long journey. Until you’re called to Heaven through death, or other means, you’ve got to work out this whole relationship thing with God. And that, regardless of your personality, can be a daunting task. Especially when it comes to dealing with our guilt and the truckload of baggage we all carry every day. Salvation only wipes the slate clean from the perspective of the charges against you that prevent you from an eternity with God. Despite the emotional and spiritual high that most of us feel after the event, being saved hardly touches all the mess that we still carry.

Some are lucky and some of that baggage is removed, but for the intellectual introvert, the pain, memory, and guilt of our past usually hit us in the face very abruptly shortly after the honeymoon phase is over. While it’s not quite the same as salvation, the introvert’s baggage isn’t going to go away through works or good deeds. If that were a possibility, the baggage wouldn’t be there to begin with.

So… We’re back to this relationship thing.

Luckily for the introvert, the most difficult part of a relationship is usually starting it. This one is slightly different, since an unusual level of trust has been established through the salvation process. That process makes the one-on-one relationship a piece of cake for the introvert, creating practically ideal conditions for the only kind of pleasurable social interaction an introvert might experience. But when you aren’t driven by your emotions or the interaction in a relationship, the relationship is driven more by analytical and mental activities than by outward feelings and expressions. The problem with thoughts running wild is that it becomes entirely too easy to “talk” your way out of pursuing the relationship because of the very pile of things you need the relationship to fix, all that baggage, guilt, and pain.

Instead of expressing our concerns and opening up to allow God to work in us, we, as introverts, get guilt-driven tunnel vision. Tunnel vision leads us to distance ourselves from God and to irrational fears about our value. Justifications for our distance will then have to be made, which lead to one of two things: depression or building up delusional walls of pride. It’s easy to be proud and ignore our faults, become our own god, as long as we don’t have to face the real God. And on the other end of the spectrum, we ignore the good around us and create a self-pitying echo chamber, further devaluing and distancing ourselves. It’s easy for us to ignore God and his power when we’ve made a god out of our problems.

The most difficult part of the post-honeymoon stage for a new Christian is dealing with all their other gods. For a self-empowered introvert, that means trying to kill the other gods off on our own. It usually takes us too long to realize that once the power is given to a god, you can’t overcome it without the power of a God. That’s why the relationship thing is still important. That’s why salvation is only the very beginning of the journey.